When Home Is Complicated: Understanding Homesickness

Homesickness was never something that challenged me in the past. Since my earliest years, I felt an inner pull to leave the country where I was born.

Even without the experience of war, I believe I still would have been drawn to explore other places. In Buddhism, it is said that we choose the country of our birth as part of a larger vision for our growth, an opportunity to face challenges, serve others, and evolve as human beings.

When people ask me about my country of origin, Bosnia, I often say that my relationship to it is complicated. One of the reasons I wanted to leave Bosnia was that I never developed a deep sense of belonging there.

Intuitively, I was searching for distance, space where I could heal the many wounds that formed during my early life. Yet, Bosnia is also a vast and meaningful part of my history.

The hardships I endured became my most valuable teachers. Each challenge, each moment of struggle, carved lessons into my spirit that no classroom or book could ever have offered. They taught me resilience, the quiet, stubborn kind that allows you to stand even when the world feels like it is collapsing. They taught me humility, showing me that vulnerability is not weakness, but a gateway to deeper understanding. They opened me to empathy and openness, allowing me to truly see the lives of others with compassion. They gave me perspective, revealing the smallness of momentary pain in complex puzzle of life, and at the same time, the power of endurance.

Above all, they showed me the strength I might never have known, the inner courage and clarity that only emerges when we face raw realities of our own existence. Without these experiences, I doubt I would have discovered the depths of who I truly am.

Finding Warmth Amid Complexity

Today, my heart softens whenever I meet someone from “back home.” I speak of Bosnia with warmth for its culture, its people, its humor, its openness, while still acknowledging the complexities that shaped my path.

Understanding my own sense of belonging and the meaning of “home” has been one of the central themes of my personal narrative, something woven into me for as long as I can remember.

Experiencing Homesickness for the First Time

Interestingly, I never felt homesick when I first left Bosnia. I embraced new lives, new chapters, and new cultures with an open heart.

I loved the diversity, the languages, the different faces I met along the way. Many of my friends from other places spoke about how deeply homesick they felt, and I always listened with empathy but I could not feel what they felt.

Until recently.

When I moved again to another country, something shifted. For the first time, homesickness appeared not for my country of origin, but for the place where I spent the last sixteen years of my life: Prague. It crept in quietly.

It appeared whenever I managed staying away for a long time. It crept when I struggled to understand the language of my new home. It deepened when I missed the friends who knew fragments of my history, the people who shared so many years of life with me.

Understanding the Depth of Homesickness

Only then did I understand how overwhelming homesickness can be. For the first time, I experienced it firsthand the longing, the sadness, the ache of missing things that once felt familiar.

Even though I am now surrounded by a beautiful and supportive community, homesickness has a way of sneaking in unexpectedly whenever I return to the places I once called home. It is a gentle, persistent reminder of the chapters of my life that have shaped me the people I loved, the routines I knew, and the landscapes that once felt familiar.

And perhaps this longing came not as a burden, but as a teacher itself: a way for me to understand the depth of homesickness in others. To feel, firsthand, the pain of separation, the bittersweet pull of memory, and the subtle sorrow of knowing that no place can be held entirely in one’s grasp. Through this experience, I have gained empathy for all those who carry their own versions of this feeling, a recognition that homesickness is not simply nostalgia, but a complex, living emotion that shapes how we relate to home, to community, and to ourselves.

I now see how complex this emotion is, how it cannot be forced away, and how each person must move through it in their own time.

If you have ever experienced pain of homesickness, the longing for a place you once knew or a life you left behind, I would love to hear your story. Your experiences, reflections, and emotions are invaluable, and sharing them can create connection, understanding, and solidarity. I invite you to contribute to the Online Archive, a dedicated space for personal narratives, a living tapestry of voices exploring what it means to belong, to leave, and to find home in unexpected places. By sharing your journey, you help create a collective story of resilience, growth, and human experience.