The Dismantling of the “Nice Woman”: Facing the Mirror

Lately, I have been confronted by an old archetype—the Nice Woman—smashing herself right into my face.

It happened when my son, my mirror and greatest teacher, began yelling at me.

His voice, raw and unfiltered, struck something deep within. At first, I felt pain and confusion. I cried for hours afterward. But through those tears, I began to see the truth.

My child was reflecting back to me what still needed healing— what still needed boundaries, attention, and courage.

When “Nice” Becomes a Cage

For much of my life, I carried the Nice Woman archetype like a shield. It was woven into my work ethic, my upbringing, my social conditioning.

Somewhere along the way, being “nice” became a way to survive— to be accepted, to belong, to prove my worth.

I worked tirelessly, always on time, always responsible, sacrificing sleep, creativity, and even moments with my young child just to be seen as reliable, good, kind enough.

In my family and work, I served diligently, to prove I was a good wife, a good daughter, a good woman. But beneath the surface, the wild woman in me was suffocating.

Being nice is not the same as being kind. Niceness often comes from fear, a desire not to be rejected, not to be “too much.” It silences the wild, instinctual woman within us
who knows when to say no, when to roar, when to rest.

When I moved to new countries, I found myself slipping back into the Nice Woman again, hiding my wildness, polishing my words, trying not to take up too much space.

But the cost was high.

My energy drained. My creativity faded.

Saying Goodbye to the “Nice Woman”

When my son yelled at me, it wasn’t disrespect, it was revelation. He was the mirror showing me that my boundaries were broken, that my well-being needed protection,
that I must learn to say "no" without guilt and "yes" only when it’s true.

The Fire Within me rose again, the part that protects what is sacred, that fights not with aggression but with clarity, that chooses authenticity over approval.

This is not about becoming cold or unkind. It is about reclaiming boundaries, about choosing presence over people-pleasing, truth over performance, self-respect over silent exhaustion.

The Nice Woman had her purpose. She guided me through years of proving myself, of bending and shaping to fit expectations. She helped me survive the judgments, the endless demands, and the quiet erosion of my own needs. She taught me patience, diligence, and the power of kindness. But now, it’s time for her to rest. To lay down the weight of obligation, the constant need for approval, the fear of taking up too much space.

And for the Sovereign Woman to rise. The part of me that claims my own authority, that protects my boundaries, and that moves through the world with clarity and purpose. She chooses authenticity over compliance, courage over comfort, and presence over approval. She is the keeper of my own power, the guardian of my creative, wild, and untamed spirit and she will lead me forward.