Learning to Take Up Space: A Reflection on Speaking, Belonging, and Worth

Today, I had to do a public presentation of my work. It was for a meaningful event in a city I moved to just a few months ago — in a country where I am slowly rebuilding my life from scratch.

As I stood there speaking, I noticed how fast my words were rushing out of me.
Then I caught sight of one of the coordinators glancing at the clock — probably just keeping track of the schedule — but in that small gesture, my inner voice whispered:“You’re taking too long. You should hurry. Don’t take up too much space.”

And so, I spoke even faster.

The Hidden Belief Beneath “Speaking Fast”

My presentation ended much sooner than I had planned. I skipped over parts I truly wanted to share because my mind was occupied with silent beliefs whispering: “There are other presenters. Don’t be too much. Don’t take too much time.”

Later, I realized that others took their time with ease. They spoke calmly, fully present in their moment.

And I wondered — what was the real difference between them and me? It wasn’t about communication style or language fluency.

It was something deeper — an old, ingrained belief that I shouldn’t take up too much space.

A belief planted long ago, growing silently through my girlhood in a patriarchal Balkan society — the quiet messages that said: Don’t be too loud. Don’t wear too dark colors. Don’t laugh too much. Don't cry too much. Don’t take up too much space.

For years, I thought my fast talking was just my “natural style.” But today, something in me shifted. I understood that my voice was carrying generations of conditioning — and that by rushing through my words, I was unconsciously still asking for permission to exist.

Reclaiming Space

This realization was like an inner awakening — a gentle but powerful reminder that I deserve space, just like anyone else. That my voice, my body, my story — all of it — belongs.

That taking up space is not arrogance; it is a form of self-trust. And that “too much” is often just another word for fully alive.

If you are one of those who: Speaks too quickly to rush through a presentation / Shrinks her shoulders as she enters a room / Avoids eye contact or softens her voice / Feels like she doesn’t belong or doesn’t deserve space — please know this: These beliefs are echoes of social conditioning, not reflections of your worth.

You are allowed to take your time.
You are allowed to take your space.
You are allowed to be fully you.

And every time you do, you make space for others to do the same.