How Storytelling Can Guide US Through Life’s Biggest Changes

Life, in all its unpredictable complexity, is a journey that often feels like we are walking through an ever-changing landscape. The terrain shifts beneath our feet, the path we thought was ahead becomes a maze, and we often find ourselves unsure of what direction to take.

Over the past few years, I’ve faced some of the most significant transitions of my life, ones that have tested my resilience, my sense of belonging, and my capacity to find peace amidst chaos.I moved to a new country with my 11-year-old son, leaving behind everything that had once felt stable. The university I had called home for years is falling apart, both professionally and personally, and the idea of “family” that I had once known no longer exists in the same way. Some of my closest friends have scattered across the globe.

In the midst of this change, I stumbled upon a quote, written by Jungian analyst, Lisa Marchiano, that became a lifeline: "When we are groping to find a way forward and are not sure what to do, we just have to keep tossing the bread to our fate, keep living and loving our questions." (Marchiano,2024)

This simple yet profound wisdom reminded me of something I’ve always known deep down: my narrative is my guide. I’ve always used storytelling as a way to navigate the difficult and uncertain terrain of life. In times of adversity, when I can’t see the next step clearly, I turn to my own stories, the ones I’ve carried with me like breadcrumbs, leading me forward. Even in moments when I don’t know what comes next, I trust that the stories I tell myself will show me the way.

Stories as Memories: Anchoring in the Past

In moments of reflection, my mind often drifts back to when I first arrived in the Czech Republic as a migrant. I arrived with almost nothing—no proper visa, no job prospects, no community to lean on. All I had were the savings I had carried with me from Bosnia, a post-war country. It was a time when uncertainty reigned.

I built my life from the ground up, step by step. I made friends who became family, completed my doctoral studies, and dedicated years to working with students from across the world. Each milestone, each moment of struggle, was woven into the fabric of my story. I remember the girl I once was, standing in the midst of a war-torn Bosnia, dreaming of something as simple as a warm home and a hot meal.

And now, from the vantage point of years and countless experiences later, I whisper to that girl: "Look how far you’ve come."

These memories are not just personal triumphs; they are reminders of the resilience that resides in all of us. I tell these stories to remind myself that, no matter how hard the journey, we are always capable of finding strength in the face of adversity. The stories of my past help me weather the storms of today, offering me the courage to move forward when life feels overwhelming.

Stories That Did Not Happen: Learning Through Rejection

Not every story, of course, follows the script we hope for. There are many moments in my life where things didn’t unfold the way I envisioned. I remember the many rejections I faced when applying for scholarships to pursue further studies in Europe. I longed to leave Bosnia. But those doors remained firmly closed, one after another.

At the time, I didn’t understand why it was happening. I struggled with the disappointment, with the sense of failure. But in hindsight, those moments of rejection were the very things that led me to people and work that was beyond anything I was hoping for. The paths that didn’t materialize brought me to a mentor who would guide me through my doctoral studies, to the home I would eventually build in Prague.

These stories of "what could have been" have taught me an invaluable lesson: acceptance. Sometimes, the things we think we want aren’t the things we need. And while it is easy to mourn the closed doors, I have learned to trust that something better is waiting on the other side. I’ve learned to embrace the stories that didn’t happen, understanding that they are a part of my journey, not a detour from it.

Stories That Ended: Grieving and Letting Go

Endings, too, are an inevitable part of our stories. They are not always the dramatic events we imagine, but the quiet, heartbreaking moments that mark significant changes. I’ve known loss in many forms—the loss of a friend, a dream, a home. But the most painful loss I’ve experienced was the death of my mother. Her passing felt like a part of me was torn away.

For a long time, I resisted grieving. I didn’t want to face the depth of the pain, the finality of it. But eventually, grief found its way in, and I began to allow myself to mourn. And it was through this grief that I began to understand the intricate dance between loss and life.

My mother’s passing, though a sorrowful ending, also brought new beginnings. In the wake of her death, my son was born. Her passing taught me more than I could have ever imagined about the cycles of life, death, and rebirth. It showed me the importance of accepting what has ended in order to make space for what is to come. Stories of endings are powerful, for they remind us of the impermanence of all things, and of the strength we possess to endure and to heal.

The Power of Our Personal Narratives

Through it all, I have learned that storytelling is not just a way to make sense of the past—it is a tool that helps us navigate the unknown. When we walk through fog, unsure of what lies ahead, it is our stories that illuminate the way forward. Our personal narratives are the compasses that guide us through uncertainty, giving us direction when all feels lost.

In the end, it is not the answers that we seek, but the courage to keep asking the questions. Our stories are not just reflections of what was; they are the living, breathing maps that guide us through the chaos of life. They remind us that we are capable of resilience, of growth, and of transformation, even when we cannot see the path clearly.

When life becomes overwhelming, I return to my stories—my memories, my rejections, my losses—and find the strength to keep moving forward. I trust that the stories we tell ourselves will always lead us home.

Reference list:

Marchiano, Lisa. The Vital Spark: Reclaim Your Outlaw Energies and Find Your Feminine Fire. Colorado: Sounds True, 2024.